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Style Picked Me! I'm Going to London!!!
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GREAT NEWS Tung Ching Yau!!!
I'm going to London! We did it!!!
Thank you for participating in my PUA WORK-OUT
CHALLENGE :)
I wouldn't have made it to London without you!
I'm editing my lecture right now. In London I'm going
to share how you can generate your own new and
unique routines. With this skill you'll never need to rely
on old routines again, you can craft your own :)
I hope you can make it to see me in London. I just
spoke to Gypsy and he says that as of right now we
have only 8 spots left at the London Conference.
They are going to go quick.
If you want to learn from Style the master PUA, if
you want to learn Gypsy's hand massage technique, if
you want to meet ME, if you want to get your hands
on the Total Life Make Over DVD Set then now is the
time. Go for it! Click this link:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
We're going to have the time of our lives :)
I know I'm going to London but that doesn't mean my
PUA WORK-OUT CHALLENGE is over. In fact, it's even
more reason to continue.
So here is this last challenge...
...it's time to KISS CLOSE!
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The Last PUA WORK-OUT CHALLENGE: Get the KISS!
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We have one week until London. That means you have
one week to kiss close one lucky woman.
I know this might make you nervous but don't worry
because I'm going to give you the tools to make it easy.
For many guys the kiss seems like the first make or break
it moment when you know if a woman is actually sexually
attracted to you. Therefore this moment gets built up
into a challenging obstacle that becomes impossible to
defeat in the mind and therefore in reality.
The truth is it's all quite simpler than that.
First, you need to be aware of some basic female facts.
A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she won't
move to isolation with you. A woman is probably not going
to kiss you if she hasn't shown you even one IOI. A woman
is definitely not going to kiss you if you don't approach
her.
But let's examine this from another angle. A woman is more
likely going to kiss you if you approach her. A woman is
more likely going to kiss you if she shows you IOIs. A woman
is very likely going to kiss you if she goes into isolation
with you.
What I aiming at here are that there are ways you can build
up your chances for the kiss by planning ahead.
Let's imagine you've done everything right. You've approached
a woman, you've been getting IOIs from her, and she moved
into isolation with you. Or alternatively you are both now out on
a Day 2 (that's a date to the uninitiated).
The next thing you're going to be working towards is a kiss
close. Because if a woman has done all these things with you
then WAKE UP! She wants to kiss you. And GUESS WHAT it's
your job to KISS HER.
That's right! You're the man and that's your role. You must
lead her. If you don't lead she can't follow. But if you do
lead she'll more than likely follow and respect you for it,
because all women are looking for REAL MEN. Simple. Simple.
So you know your duty and now all you need to do is perform
it. And you will do so in the following manner.
1. ALWAYS USE KINO ESCALATION
There's a natural order to turning a woman on. They don't
prefer for you to dive straight at their lips for the first
kiss. Instead they like a little teasing. They like a little
anticipation. They like a little rising action. And that's
your Kino Escalation.
Kino is just a short way of saying playful touching, and not
necessarily sexually touching, but the kind of touching that
comes before sexual touching.
There's easy ways to insert kino into your interaction with a
woman before you kiss. Here's a short but not complete list
of examples:
-When she makes a sarcastic joke or remark nudge her in the
arm with your fist or shoulder lightly and smile.
-Insert kino into routines like The Ring Finger Routine or
Palm Reading and touch a woman's hand lightly with your fingers
as you run routines like these.
-Play fun games like thumb wrestling, showing each other secret
hand shakes, or high-fiving each other.
-Use Kino to lead her when it's applicable. For example lead her
through crowds at bars and clubs by putting out your hand for her
hand and guiding her.
-Do push-pull funny things like tell her she has huge hands and
showing her by sizing your hands against hers.
-And of course there are a thousand other ways.
2. USE A KISS CLOSE to SEAL THE DEAL
Yes, I've heard it before, "I don't want to use a kiss close they
feel fake." Well, that's fine as long as you're consistently
having no trouble kissing women. But if you can't bridge that gap,
you NEED to USE a KISS CLOSE.
A Kiss Close is the device that helps you seal that deal because
it gets you right up to the threshold and almost pushes you into
the kiss, like a helpful skydiver instructor pushing you out the
plane. Once the words or actions of a Kiss Close come out of your
mouth you've displayed your intentions. You are committed to the
kiss. I personally find it infinitely easier to perform a Kiss
Close rather than just take the kiss.
Now that you know the "why" here's the "how." But first a word of
caution. A Kiss Close is never begging or asking. You never say
"Can I kiss you?" or "Please, kiss me." This is not a Kiss Close.
Observe, these following examples and use them or create your own
along the same principles.
I. Mystery's Kiss Close
This is a kiss close that I've used time and time again. And it
works amazingly.
At the moment you feel like there's a lull in the conversation
because the woman might want something more or when she meets your
gaze you say the following.
PUA: "Do you want to kiss me?"
Her: "I don't know."
PUA: "Let's find out."
Then move in for the kiss :)
Of course, she could say two other things "No" or "Yes" and
here's how those play out. If she says "Yes" then you kiss
immediately.
If she says "No" then you say the following:
PUA: "Hey I didn't say you could. It just looked like you had
something on your mind."
II. The Evolution Phase Shift
If you've read "The Game" then you already know this kiss close.
It's brilliant because it incorporates kino escalation into the
close. Here it is:
Tell her that she smells good and ask what she's wearing. Lean in,
brush her hair aside, sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder
to the ear. "Mmmm, that smells good. People don't pay enough
attention to smell. But you'll notice how animals, before they mate,
will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond
to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you."
"It's like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You'll notice how
lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other's
mane, right here." Point to the back of your head then run your hand
up the back of her neck and grab a fistful of hair at the roots and
pull it, downwards. She says "Mmmm..." And I say "see."
Next say "No one knows this, but the most sensitive places on the body
are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the
back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place
where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of
sensitive little nerve endings that release endorphins. Take her arm,
bend it a little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of
the elbow (that crease where it bends). Ask "Does that feel good?"
[Note for the less experienced: If you don't know how to erotically
bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk
of skin, not a little pinch and slowly and firmly slide your teeth
together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to
practice on your own elbow first.]
Now you say, "But do you know what the best thing in the world is?
A bite...right...here." And point to the side of your neck. Then
expose your neck and say, "Bite me right here" as if you expect her
to. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn't, just turn
away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and
repeat, "Bite me right here." Usually she will.
Half the time, her bite will be lame. If so, correct her and say,
"That's not how you bite. Come here." Then give her a good bite on
the neck and instruct her to "try again."
Now look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say,
very slowly, "Not bad." Then glance down at her mouth, back up at
her eyes, and kiss!
Here's the condensed version, write it down and take it into the
field with you: smell, grab hair, touch elbow, touch back of knee,
bite elbow, bite my neck, bite her neck, triangular gazing, kiss.
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WHAT A RIDE IT"S BEEN :)
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Thank you again for all the emails, the support, the comments,
and for reading along all throughout the challenge.
It's been a ton of fun :)
If you're going to make it to London then I promise you a weekend
you'll remember for the rest of your life. It's time to make a
decision:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
Packing my bags,
-The Sneak
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Stylelife Academy
8491 Sunset Blvd. #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069, USA
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2012年9月26日
2012年9月19日
"Small Talk Tactics" report + 5 mistakes that will kill your conversations
Hey,
Thanks for grabbing your copy of the "Small Talk Tactics"
report. Your really going to find this valuable in creating
better conversations with women.
report. Your really going to find this valuable in creating
better conversations with women.
To get your "Small Talk Tactics Report" for signing up, please
click on this link.
Go listen to the podcast and download the report... and keep
your eyes glued to your inbox because in a couple days I've
got a killer bonus i'll be sending over on "completely eliminating
awkward silences" from your conversations....
got a killer bonus i'll be sending over on "completely eliminating
awkward silences" from your conversations....
.... First, wanted to share with you the five deadly conversation
mistakes...
Make With Women... And What To Do About It..."
Here are the top five ways men murder their conversations
with women before they ever even have a chance to create attraction.
Let's face it...
If you want to create attraction in a woman... you must possess
the ability to talk. You can know all the "secret attraction building
techniques" in the world... but if you can't carry a conversation...
YOU GET NO WHERE.... (Don't worry, we'll discuss some of
those "secret attraction building techniques in later newsletters)
Right now I want to concentrate on the exact ways you're killing your
conversations... probably without realizing it.
Mistake #1: Breaking the 90/10 Rule When Starting a Conversation
Have you ever noticed that most conversations don't pick up steam
until about 5-10 minutes in?
This is because when you start talking to someone new, especially
somebody you do not know yet, they are going to be just as cold
inside their heads as you were before you psyche yourself up - making
yourself ready to start that conversation.
A conversation needs time to build "conversation momentum."
The problem most guys face is that don't ever give their conversations a
chance to build that "momentum." Most guys expect to hit this "
conversation flow" too quickly. And because of this the opposite effect
happens... and their conversations just "stall out."
Well you have to carry the conversation. Be prepared, in the first five or
so minutes, to carry the conversation by providing 90, or even sometimes
100, percent of all the content until they get warmed up a little bit.
How do you do that?
Keep talking!
Well the rule is very simple: Just keep talking.
By taking control of the conversation right from the beginning, you allow her
time to "warm up" and shift her brain from "receive mode" rather than "give
mode."
In future lessons I'm going to show you exactly what tools you need to
be able to do this... but for now, just know you HAVE be prepared
to talk 90% of the time for the first 5-10 minutes of your conversations....
Mistake #2: Not Recognizing the Signals a Woman is Giving Them
You have to recognize the signals that women are giving to you so
you know whether you have got the right kind of emotional intensity
- the right energy - and whether the topics you are talking about are
actually even appropriate for this point in the conversation.
How do you do that?
Well, you use your senses. Your eyes and your ears are your best friends.
You have got to watch people's reactions and learn to be able to read them.
You have a good sense of when you are boring her, when she is excited
and how she is reacting to you. You just have to make sure you pay attention.
The rule of thumb is when you first start a conversation with someone or
with a group of people you want to have a little bit more energy than that
group had before you came in.
If you get to recognize where she is at in terms of her energy level, her
enthusiasm, her excitement, how her neurology is wired up and lit up,
and you can pitch your own energy level to be just slightly above that,
you will be sure to be a success wherever you go because you will not be
too much and you will not be too little.
Mistake #3: Not Assuming Rapport Right From the Beginning
For the longest time I could never understand why it took so long for me
to develop rapport with women... while my friends seem to jump right into it...
And then it hit me...
I was waiting for rapport to happen naturally... they were assuming it.
When you are talking to a woman, even if it's your first time talking to her...
talk to her in the same laid back way you would talk to an old friend.
Most guys do the complete opposite... they talk to a woman in a "stiff,
formal" way reserved for strangers.... And this just makes it more apparent
that you are a STRANGER. And this puts her guard up. And this creates
that uncomfortable "awkwardness" that is devastating to a conversation.
By jumping right into rapport you create a more natural feeling conversation
and give her the feeling of "knowing you forever."
Mistake #4: Going into "Interview Mode"
I know you've experienced it... talking to a woman, and feeling like you're
on a job interview.
This is the dreaded "interview mode."
This happens when you don't know what to talk about so to keep the
|conversation going you ask questions like:
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Where did you grow up?
What kind of music do you like?
It's not the questions themselves that kill you... the rapid firing of question
after question... and the steady stream of fact based answers that destroy
any sort of "chemistry."
A conversation is supposed to fun vibing back and forth... it's not supposed
to feel like a job interview.
>In Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy we will be going
over specific conversational techniques that allow you to bypass "interview
mode" and escalate right into a more comfortable and sexual level
Mistake #5: Letting her "Lead" the Conversation
Most guys are so unsure of themselves when talking to a woman that they
look for the woman to give them "approval" or "permission" before they take
any lead in the conversation.
And this is DEAD wrong.
The minute a woman realizes you're looking to her to lead the conversation...
her attraction instantly disappears.
Most guys let the woman lead the conversation because they are scared of
"pissing her off" or choosing the wrong topic...
But here is the thing...
Women will follow whatever tone you set for the conversation. If you set
a fun, flirty vibe... she will follow. And even if she isn't interested in the topic you've chose to discuss... she'll still respect you a lot more for taking the initiative.
The Biggest Mistake:
Do you want to know what the biggest mistake men make in regards to
their conversations with women?
Not getting help.
Would you believe that 10 years ago it was nearly impossible to find this
sort of information on improving your conversations with women? This
meant that guys were forced to either struggle forever, or figure it out on
their own.
However, you have no excuse... as there is help available. Help that can
change your "game" almost overnight.
Even though it has been close to five years since I last struggled with this...
I still know the pain you feel... I had felt it for more than two thirds of my
life. And I don't wish that pain on anyone.
Now, I know that anytime, anywhere I can go out and talk to women
and create attraction.
This is what fueled to me to create a program about this. I asked 5 of the
guys I know who are the absolute best at talking to women... to join me
on this program to help create that change in you - a lot quicker than it
took me.
It's jam packed with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for creating
the right mindset for talking to a woman, getting "in the zone", making her
laugh, creating rapport, keeping a conversation flowing naturally, overcoming
"shit tests", dealing with guys who might be overshadowing you, and most
importantly, creating attraction as you talk to her...
In a couple days I will be putting the final touches on this program and
releasing a limited number of "trial" copies.
This will be arguably the most comprehensive "conversation training" you
will ever receive. There is no way you can listen to this program and not
come away with at least a dozen tips that will change the way you communicate
|with women ...nearly immediately.
I'll talk to you again in a couple days,
Take Care,
Bobby Rio
P.S. Keep you eyes open for the link to Conversation Escalation: Make Small
Talk Sexy...
71 B Saint Andrews Blvd, clifton, NJ 07012, USA
2012年9月18日
OAP Lesson #3 - Secrets of Approaching, part II
OAP - Issue 3
- Where are we?
- TMM Secrets #2: Approaching, part II
- Approaching: Advanced Section
- Conclusion
1. Where are we?
The Mystery Method (TMM) is a step-by-step system to meet, attract, and begin a sexual relationship with beautiful women.
It’s not an ivory tower theory. It was developed by men such as yourself who wanted to succeed with women. From different cities around the world, we shared ideas, tactics, and, most importantly, results. When one of us had a breakthrough, the others tested and refined it. We kept what worked over and over, and discarded what did not.
These days we’re sharing our secrets. The Online Apprenticeship Program (OAP) is part of that. To find out more about us, check out our website.
This is the third installment in the OAP. You should have already studied our welcome email, the description of the model, and the first email about approaching women who you don’t know.
Today’s installment continues and finishes the subject of approaching – essentially, how to start a conversation with strangers. The last OAP talked about how to start a conversation with a woman or her group through opinion openers. So now that you know what to say, now it’s a matter of learning the tips and tricks, the bells and whistles that make it all work.
By the way, “approaching” is the first of seven steps to a woman’s heart (or her bed). To see where we are and what is coming next, check out our mini-guide to the Emotional Progression Model.
Without further ado….
2. TMM Secrets #2: Approaching, part II
The False Time Constraint
If you’re using an opinion opener, somewhere in the first 60-90 seconds, you need to deliver what we call a false time constraint. Here are a couple of examples:
- I should only stay for a second, I have my friends here
- My friends will be back in a second, so answer me this…
- I ’m on the way to [someplace else], but before I go…
I emphasized the word “implies” in the previous paragraph for a reason. You don’t want her to think you are explaining yourself, or apologizing for your presence. To make this clear, here are some examples of bad false time constraints:
- Just one more question…
- I’m going to leave you guys alone in a minute, but before I go…
- Sorry to bother you again, but…
Why is a false time constraint important? To understand this, we need to take a bit of a detour through what it’s like to be a beautiful woman.
When she goes to a restaurant or a bar or a nightclub, people stare at her. Many men want to be with her. She knows this, and many women enjoy the psychological validation. A lot of them stare at her because they want her but don’t have the courage to approach her. This is why the “three-second rule” from the last OAP is important. But for those that do, a beautiful woman naturally falls into the frame of “screening” you. She has something you want, and she is looking at you to see if you will prove yourself worthy.
That’s not the way we want things to be – not if you’re using an opinion opener anyway. (It’s okay if you’re using a direct opener or a screening opener yourself; these are covered in Magic Bullets as well as in CD#1 on Opening, where you can hear live examples of some of our best openers as they are actually delivered).
A false time constraint implies that you are not someone who is jumping through her hoops in hopes of winning her affection. You just happened to be talking to her (and her group) because you want her opinion on something.
This is different from what other men are doing, allows her to let her guard down a little bit, and gives her a little bit of a challenge. [I say “a little bit” here because most of this stuff is actually done later, in the Attraction phase. A false time constraint just gets the ball rolling].
The false time constraint is a powerful tool in terms of framing and sub-comminication. You can read about this in the advanced section at the end of this installment.
Notional Input
Most opinion openers aren’t just one-sentence “lines”, they are more like mini-scripts. Take, for example, the “jealous girlfriend” opener (credit Style):
Man: Hey guysDo you notice that three times in this opener there is an opportunity for the women in the group to comment and give their opinion, but it does not change what the man is going to say next. Even if they say something totally off-topic to what you’re talking about, continue anyway. You’ll be surprised how well this works if you project confidence.
Group: [Stop conversation, look at man]
Man: Alright, I need you guys to settle some drama we have here. Would you [pointing to the women in the group] ever date someone who was good friends with their ex-girlfriend?
Women: [Response]
Man: I should only stay a second, my friends will be wondering, but here’s the situation. My good friend Jamie, his girlfriend just moved into his condo and she finds this box, with pictures and letters from his ex. How would you feel about that?
Women: [Response]
Man: So she says he’s got to get rid of the box and never talk to her again. I’m not from [whatever city you are in]; is this a normal [name of city] woman thing to do?
Women: [Response]
This is called notional input. You are allowing them to contribute their input to the conversation, which gets them psychologically invested in the interaction. Notional input also breaks up the flow of what you are saying so that you are not approaching with a long drawn-out monologue that could come off as rehearsed and/or strange.
The concept of notional input can also be extended to loud venues, where you sometimes can’t hear exactly what a woman is saying.
Never ask a woman to repeat herself when you’re still in the Approaching phase. It slows down the momentum of the conversation and can be frustrating (especially if you don’t understand what she is saying the second time). And it’s totally unnecessary. Just say whatever you were going to say anyway.
By the way, I hope you noticed the false time constraint in the above example.
Don’t treat this opener as a script to follow word-for-word. Just get the general idea of how it works. Magic Bullets contain many more openers as well as a step-by-step guide to create your own.
One final note. The phrase: “I’m not from [whatever city you are in]; is this a normal [name of city] woman thing to do?” is optional. I’d recommend it unless you happen to be in the city in which you were born and raised. Why? Because this gives the group an opportunity to ask where you’re from. If that happens, this gets them slightly more engaged in the conversation, and is an easy lead-in to the Transitioning phase, which we will discuss in the next OAP.
For now, all you need to know about Transitioning is that it’s where you take a one-subject conversation (e.g., your friend Jamie’s girlfriend) and turn it into a normal conversation where you can talk about lots of things, including things that will get the woman you want attracted to you. No woman is going to fall in love (or into bed) with you talking about your friend’s ex-girlfriend all night. But it’s not always easy to move asking someone’s opinion on something to chatting away about other unrelated subjects. If you do, it can come off oddly, and you risk the group thinking (or saying) “wait, didn’t you come over her to ask our opinion on something?” They’ll sense your hidden agenda and that you really approached them to hit on someone.
To be clear, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to make your intentions known to a woman early on. You can go up to a woman and tell her that she looks interesting and you’re curious about her. That’s fine. That’s another kind of opener. There are seven in all; opinion openers are just one type. We cover all of this in Magic Bullets as well as in the Interview CD #1 on Approaching.
What you want to avoid is using an opinion opener and then inadvertently revealing your intentions immediately after. Doing that implies that you are interested in a woman but don’t have the confidence to approach her directly. Either get credit for confidence and take her by surprise with a direct approach, or stay under the radar and win her over a couple of minutes later in the Attraction phase, but don’t mix the two.
Different Types of Openers
Speaking of different types of openers, keep in mind that opinion openers are particularly good for bars, with women you don’t already know. For different social contexts (friends, work, daytime, etc.), you’ll need a different approach. Rather than reinventing the wheel, I’m going to send you to the free chapter on approaching from Magic Bullets.
By the way, if you don’t know what Magic Bullets is, it’s our “bible” – featured on Playboy TV, on CBS, and based on what we used to use to train our instructors. For more information on Magic Bullets – including a chapter-by-chapter summary, check out the Magic Bullets Homepage.
You’re going to need Magic Bullets eventually, so why not take a moment now to pick it up and get started.
3. Approaching: Advanced Section
Why are we spending so much time discussing the first couple of minutes of meeting a woman? It’s because these are by far the most important minutes in your interaction. Most women decide well before the first five minutes whether they are interested in sleeping with you – and your looks only play a small part in this (for most women). This is why we released a CD with two of our top instructors, The Don and Tenmagnet, specifically on The First Five Minutes. In this CD, the experts going through their checklist of everything you should accomplish in the first five minutes of meeting a woman, and how to make it all happen.
I promised earlier that we’d cover frames and sub-communication, so here goes.
A frame is the context in which an interaction takes place. Frames can be quite malleable, and change rapidly during a conversation. I’ll illustrate with a sample dialogue.
- Joe: That’s a nice purse
- Jane: Sorry, I have a boyfriend
- Joe: I understand. I’m not looking for anything long-term either
- Jane: But I hardly know you!
- Joe: Of course we’re not going to have sex right here right now. We’re in public for goodness sake. We need to have comfort and trust first and see if we like each other. I don’t want you to rush me.
- Jane: I’m not rushing you!
- Joe: That’s great…so many woman want to rush things. I’m glad you want to take a couple of hours first to get to know each other and see if we have sexual chemistry. So anyway…
By the way, “that’s a nice purse” is a terrible opener. Don’t use it. It’s only here for the example.
Men who are masters of social dynamics and attracting beautiful women are pretty much always masters of frame control and sub-communication. It’s probably the most important skill you can have. It’s a bit of an advanced subject and we’ll probably come back to it at some point in the future, but to get more in-depth on this, you can study the hour-long audio CD of myself and Sinn, one of our star instructors, breaking it down in Interview CD #5 on Frame Control.
4. Q&A
We only have space for one question today, so here goes:
Dear Savoy,
I just got OAP #2 on Approaching and I love it. I didn’t know that it was so easy to go up to complete strangers and start a conversation with them. I don’t just use this on women I want to be with; it makes ice-breaking at parties, conventions, or any big gathering easier. BTW, the CD on opening really helped, listening to you guys actually say this stuff really helped me learn how it’s done.
One thing that worries me is how many people get the OAP? Isn’t there some danger that someone will “I’ve heard that before?”
- J.K., Santa Cruz, CADear J.K.,
Thanks for the note. I often get mail like this, especially from people in sales or other business functions who report that these skills (plus an overall boost in confidence from enjoying more success with women) have helped their career dramatically. In a sense, what we teach is about psychology, not dating, but to keep things clear, we focus on the dating angle.
I have a couple of points that I want to make in response to your email:
- Opinion Openers are NOT the best type of opener to use in environments where everyone is connected like a party or a convention. We call approaching women who you don’t necessarily know but are connected to in some way “Warm Approach” and Tenmagnet and I go into a lot of detail on this in CD #13 on Warm Approach. In one sentence, you’re much better with a functional or no opener here. See Chapter 5 (on Approaching) of Magic Bullets – (this chapter is available for free here). But if warm approach is going to be a significant part of your game, pick up the CD.
- You shouldn’t run into woman who’ve heard the same opener before because you should make your own. Magic Bullets has a step-by-step guide.
5. Conclusion
That’s it for the approaching phase. Your homework before the n ext OAP is to keep approaching groups until you feel confident and successful most of the time. Once you’re at the stage, invent your own opener and refine it until you can get it to work as well as the examples we’ve given you (remember – Magic Bullets has a step-by-step guide for this if you need it).
See you in a couple of days!
Take Care,
Savoy
2012年9月12日
The Mystery Method Bonus Material (2 of 8)
| The Mystery Method Get Attraction Members Bonus Material 2 of 8 |
By now you have already received the first bonus material email from when you signed up here. That email included an extra chapter for The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed. If you haven’t received it, please let us know at customerservice@themysterymethod.com.
It’s really important that you don’t just let the book – or these emails - gather dust on your shelf. Our material won’t get you anywhere by itself. You have to use it.
As I mentioned in the bonus chapter, each of the next few emails is going to focus on a specific area of your game, bring your knowledge up to date, and show you where some further resources are. Sometimes we will revisit some of the material in The Mystery Method book in a different way. Sometimes we will show you some more advanced strategies.
We’ve developed a lot of expertise in training men to be as successful with women as we are (and most of us are former students and started in the same place you did), and we’ve learned that information timing is crucial. It’s very important that you study and use these materials in order. Anyway, as long as you are keeping up, you’ll be fine. Each email will be in this format:
- Review
- Discussion
- Q&A
- What you need to do
- Resources
Review
The bonus chapter provided a couple of new openers as well as an exhortation to go out and practice them. Hopefully, you’ve been able to spend the past few days approaching attractive women when you see them and learning how the openers work. One place though where a lot of people fall down is in not paying attention to their non-verbal communication. The book does a great job in Chapter 5 of covering this; make sure you don’t gloss over the importance of tonality, posture, and so on.
Discussion
Learn to be louder
Everyone in the group should hear your opener. You should be loud enough to cut across whatever conversations people are already having and make it socially awkward for others not to be paying attention to you. Practice opening -- loudly -- from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, just under your pectoral muscles, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can't. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations. This is a much more useful, powerful, and “sexy” voice.
Virtually all men are too quiet rather than too loud. The odds are that you are too. Especially at bars and nightclubs, experiment until you know you are being too loud, then pull back a couple notches.
This is one of the first things we fix with our students at our live workshops. If you’ve already got this down, you’ll already be a few minutes ahead of the game when you take your workshop!
Mixed Groups
A mixed group is one that has both men and women in it. Don’t be afraid of these. They’re actually easier once you get the hang of them, since you can direct your opening conversation at a guy or at the men in a group. If you are sufficiently interesting, the women will want to also get your attention. By playfully ignoring and teasing your target, you drive her crazy and develop attraction for you (we will cover the Attraction phase in the next email).
A couple of our Master Instructors – Sinn and Captain Jack – have become well-known for their skill in attracting beautiful women for “one night stands”. They are better at this than anyone I’ve ever seen and a couple of times a year offer a one-day specialty seminar on how they do it. One of the first things they go over is why a mixed group is better for one night stands, too.
Furthermore, don't restrict yourself to mixed groups where the ratio is in your favor. You can and should approach mixed groups even when there are more men than women. Casually ask how everyone knows each other pretty early on so you don’t step on any minefields. Overall, you will earn credit with any single women in the group for having the guts to approach when most other men would be too timid.
Do not initiate conflict with the other men in the group. A woman will be less interested in you if she senses that you cannot get along with the men in her life. If you appear to disrespect a woman’s brother, sister’s boyfriend, coworker, platonic male friend, or any other male in her social circle, you will imply that you have a low Social Intuition, which is deeply unattractive to women. You will also make enemies within her social circle, who will try to convince her not to date you.
"Social Intuition" is capitalized there since it’s one of the eight "attraction switches" we’ve discovered since the publication of the book. We’ll get into these in the Attraction Phase email, next.
Befriending other men does not mean kissing up to them (neither they nor the women in the group will respect you if you do), but it does mean treating them with respect. Imagine that you are at the park with your younger sister. What would a man have to do for you to want her to date him, or at least for you to be neutral about it? One technique for bonding with someone is to act as if he is already your friend. Act toward other men in her group as you would act around your own friends. Sports, gadgets, cars, alcohol, and movies are often good sources of conversation with other men.
A couple of parting thoughts:
- Address the men in the group primarily, at least at first
- Quickly find out how they all know each other (so you know which women in the group are single and which have their boyfriends or husbands in the group)
- Use an opener that is more about events and actions and less about emotions and “getting a woman’s opinion”
Dear Mystery Method:
So far all I can say is…wow. I can feel that this book is going to change my life. One question I have – I realize that I should practice until I get good, but I don’t like clubs and don’t really have the time. Are there other ways to get this kind of experience?
- J.F., Lewiston, ME
Dear J.F.,
Yes, absolutely. There’s absolutely nothing in The Mystery Method that is specific to bars and clubs. We only tend to refer to them because they frequently have large numbers of attractive women with whom you can interact and practice on. However, if you can find enough women to approach elsewhere, you absolutely should. Some of our instructors tend to focus specifically on non-bar and non-club situations, which we call “Day Game”.
Day Game does have some tactical elements and shortcuts which are significantly different from bars and clubs. This isn’t the place to go over all of these now. In terms of opening, specifically, keep these few tips in mind:
- Stand further apart.
- Don’t touch her (no kino).
- Look for opportunities to prepare the ground for your opener. People are often not in “social mode” when they are by themselves during the day. So if you’ve got a bag or briefcase with you at a coffee shop, ask a woman at a nearby table to watch it when you go to the bathroom. This puts you in her conscious mind, and when you get back, you can start a conversation. You still start with Opening (i.e., A1) but your approach won’t come “out of the blue”.
- More women are by themselves. So group theory doesn’t apply.
We do occasionally run specific “Day Game” seminars targeted to this aspect of dating science. Check our schedule or contact us to find out what qualified day game instructors are in your area.
Cheers,
Savoy
Dear Mystery Method:
I own both the book The Mystery Method and the DVD set. The DVD set is great for going into more depth and explaining HOW to do some of the things mentioned in the book. One thing I really liked was some of Mystery’s canned material. Like the “you are a song” piece on DVD#3 works so well. This makes me want MORE! Where would I look for more canned material?
- W.O., Prescott, AZ
Dear W.O.,
First things first. Using other people’s canned material is fine if you’re just trying to figure out how it works and practice your tonality and body language. Because you know that the canned material works, you can focus on the other things, and then when your non-verbal communication is working well for you, you can experiment with your own material. But don’t get into the trap of sticking with other peoples’ stuff forever. It’s not you and you’ll eventually come across as fake.
As for your question specifically, there is a truly excellent book called the Love Systems’ Routines Manual - which includes about 200 pages of the best routines, including many by instructors who have worked with The Mystery Method. It includes a couple dozen openers, attraction routines, comfort routines, and so on. What I like most about it (I collaborated in writing it) is how each routine has specific advice on when to use it, what you’d say immediately after, how to respond to various things a woman might say in response. It also includes bonus chapters on how to build and deliver your own routines.
What you need to do
- Get out there. Master opening. Be able to open 5, 10, 20 sets in a row without failing.
- What this means is, every time you see an attractive stranger, approach her (and her group if she is with one). Start a conversation. Don’t stress if you’re not able to take the conversation to the next level yet; we’ll cover that in future emails.
- Failures include failing to approach because of approach anxiety, and failure to start a conversation.
- You absolutely need to have this mastered. The best attraction or comfort material in the world won’t get you anywhere unless you can open consistently.
If by now you are not opening consistently, you may need to look into some further resources that can help. There are a few I can suggest; some are The Mystery Method products and some aren’t.
1. Interview Series CD #1 on OpeningIn this CD, fellow Master Instructor Sinn and myself cover Opening from a variety of different angles, addressing different situations (e.g., if men are part of the group) and delivering openers in the proper tonality.
2. DVD Video Archive, especially Volume #1
This 5-DVD set represents “best of” clips from the Mystery Method’s 2005 tour. Mystery delivers routines and fleshes out many concepts from the book as well as introducing new ones. It’s not an “Opening” product specifically because it tries to cover the complete system, but much of DVD #1 is related to Opening. Reviews are here.
3. The Love Systems' Routines ManualAs described above, this is THE guide to the best routines for every phase of the game. This is the only place, other than our live workshops, where our Master Instructors reveal their secret routines and tactics. It’s also a good introduction to other schools of dating science beyond The Mystery Method.
4. Brad P’s Instant AttractionThis is not a The Mystery Method book, but it is primarily focused on opening and is quite innovative. We occasionally use some of his techniques, especially “The Shocker” to build attraction off of the opener.
Take care,
Savoy
2012年9月11日
Style Chooses TWO Coaches Behind Closed Doors ...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THIS WEEK'S WEEKEND WINGMAN
Style Chooses TWO Coaches Behind Closed Doors ...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Are you on the edge of your seat Tung Ching Yau?
Yes, Style has chosen TWO coaches to go to London!
For one, he chose Gypsy to go...but...the other one he has not
revealed who it is yet! So I'm still in the running for London :)
It's really cool that Gypsy is teaching at the Conference in
London because Gypsy is a professional massage therapist.
He's going to teach a section on hand massage and how to
use it for kino and building attraction. That's some high level
stuff! Check out even more details here:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
Don't forget that the Conference is coming up real soon,
November 13 & 14. We are right now quickly running out
of seats because there are a lot of last minute purchases
happening. Secure yours now if you're thinking about going.
OK, only a few days left for PUA WORK-OUT CHALLENGES
so let's get it ON!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
LAST WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Get Two Numbers in a
Week!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
OH YEAH! I know lots of guys finished this mission
because I got a ton of great FRs about number closing.
CONGRATZ on Number Closing this week!
Here's our featured FR for the day:
"I did it! I followed Style's phone number gambit and got 3
numbers..."
by MARCUZ
Here's how it went.
I worked in the mall that day with my boss and two other
female staffers. We were doing promotional activities for our
products along with other companies that day, I noticed that
the other companies sent promo girls and they were 8's to
10's.
A promo girl that was near our booth was my initial target,
since I can't move freely due to the fact my boss was around,
my strategy was to build up the comfort level in small bits
(smiling, little chats, false time constraints, and true time
constraints whenever a customer would approach) until the
time came that my boss left our booth.
Me: Finally!
Promo Girl #1(an 8): Finally what? (No customer was around).
Me: Well, we were having a debate on who most girls would
like to be with, if the choices were Bugs Bunny and James
Bond, those girls (my co-workers) said James bond and my
boss (a woman) said Bugs Bunny... you could even out the
chances for Bugs or let 007 win, who's you're choice?
Promo Girl #1: Smiling... that's hard... mum...
I wasn't aware that two other promo girls from the other
booths near us were listening and they jumped in the
conversation...
Promo Girl #2 (an 8): I love Bugs!!!
Me: Ewww...you love bugs? Like roaches? (smiling)
Promo Girl #1: (Laughing)
Promo Girl #2: (Punched my shoulder playfully laughing)
Promo Girl #3 (a 7): (laughing) I pick 007.
Me: Wow. This is good, three for James and 2 for Bugs.
Promo Girl #1: OK, Bugs Bunny.
Me: 3 on 3...nice. Alright, I have to go back in our booth,
but before I leave, let me see your hands...
All three showed me their hands and I saw that all of them
wore rings.
Me: Interesting. (I said the intro for the ring finger routine...
the gods...etc. but never revealed to them what it meant).
Girls: Stay for a while, tell us what it means please?!
Me: I have to do it one at a time. Alright, you first then you
two wait until I can get back to you...
I did the routine, negs, palm reading and all the stuff to each
of them individually, and talked as a group again afterward.
We were all having fun, kino and stuff, then before the day was
over I knew I'd have to get their numbers, I remembered the
number routine.
Me: This event would be over soon, and it's nice to have known
you guys. I could have shown you the cube, but we don't have
enough time.
Girls: What's the cube?
Me: (explained a bit) OK, if we ever meet some other time I'll
show you.
I pulled out a piece of paper, tore it in half and wrote my number
on one. I gave Girl #1 the other piece and said...
Me: I have my number written here, lets see how creative you
are.
Girl#1: (reached for the paper and wrote her number, the other
girls saw what she did and wrote their numbers and email
addresses too. Then we all exchanged.)
Me: Nice, but I want to remember what you girls look like when
I call you or text you, I want you to draw a picture of yourselves
beside the number (I handed them their piece back).
Girl #1 drew a smiley. Girl #2 drew a stick figure. Girl #3 drew a
stick figure.
Then they handed the piece back to me...
Me: Wow... this is a real work of art (smiling a sarcastic look at
them). The girls were smiling with shy looks on their faces.
We talked more after I got the numbers, I saw some IOI's and all
went well until the event ended.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JAW DROPPING! Now here's the breakdown.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, kudos goes out to MARCUZ because that was amazing.
Also, MARCUZ wins a Total Life Make Over DVD Set!
There isn't much that I see wrong here because MARCUZ did
an amazing job using PUA tactics. Really well done.
It was brilliant seeding The Cube for later. I would've maybe
built it up a bit more or even performed it and then not told
one or all of them the breakdown so that they would've had to
wait until I called them to hear it. This way the girls would be
dying to get a phone call from me. But the way MARCUZ played
it was good too!
Alright, as you see from MARCUZ here these tips and tactics
we've been discussing yield results when you get out there and
use them. Style's number close is a classic and one of my faves
that I still use.
Stay tuned for my email tomorrow because it's time to work on...
KISS CLOSING!!! :)
I wanna go to London sooooo bad,
-The Sneak
P.S. Don't forget to reserve your spot for the London Conference
now. The hotel is out of conference space and we cannot expand
so once all the seats are sold out that's it. We can't accept any late
comers:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
P.P.S. If you're in the New York City area, Neil Strauss will be appearing
at the Powerhouse Arena in Brooklyn, Tonight, November 4, 2010 at
6:30pm for a comedic event that focuses on the "dark side of celebrity."
Go check it out :)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
--
Stylelife Academy
8491 Sunset Blvd. #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069, USA
--
THIS WEEK'S WEEKEND WINGMAN
Style Chooses TWO Coaches Behind Closed Doors ...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Are you on the edge of your seat Tung Ching Yau?
Yes, Style has chosen TWO coaches to go to London!
For one, he chose Gypsy to go...but...the other one he has not
revealed who it is yet! So I'm still in the running for London :)
It's really cool that Gypsy is teaching at the Conference in
London because Gypsy is a professional massage therapist.
He's going to teach a section on hand massage and how to
use it for kino and building attraction. That's some high level
stuff! Check out even more details here:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
Don't forget that the Conference is coming up real soon,
November 13 & 14. We are right now quickly running out
of seats because there are a lot of last minute purchases
happening. Secure yours now if you're thinking about going.
OK, only a few days left for PUA WORK-OUT CHALLENGES
so let's get it ON!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
LAST WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Get Two Numbers in a
Week!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
OH YEAH! I know lots of guys finished this mission
because I got a ton of great FRs about number closing.
CONGRATZ on Number Closing this week!
Here's our featured FR for the day:
"I did it! I followed Style's phone number gambit and got 3
numbers..."
by MARCUZ
Here's how it went.
I worked in the mall that day with my boss and two other
female staffers. We were doing promotional activities for our
products along with other companies that day, I noticed that
the other companies sent promo girls and they were 8's to
10's.
A promo girl that was near our booth was my initial target,
since I can't move freely due to the fact my boss was around,
my strategy was to build up the comfort level in small bits
(smiling, little chats, false time constraints, and true time
constraints whenever a customer would approach) until the
time came that my boss left our booth.
Me: Finally!
Promo Girl #1(an 8): Finally what? (No customer was around).
Me: Well, we were having a debate on who most girls would
like to be with, if the choices were Bugs Bunny and James
Bond, those girls (my co-workers) said James bond and my
boss (a woman) said Bugs Bunny... you could even out the
chances for Bugs or let 007 win, who's you're choice?
Promo Girl #1: Smiling... that's hard... mum...
I wasn't aware that two other promo girls from the other
booths near us were listening and they jumped in the
conversation...
Promo Girl #2 (an 8): I love Bugs!!!
Me: Ewww...you love bugs? Like roaches? (smiling)
Promo Girl #1: (Laughing)
Promo Girl #2: (Punched my shoulder playfully laughing)
Promo Girl #3 (a 7): (laughing) I pick 007.
Me: Wow. This is good, three for James and 2 for Bugs.
Promo Girl #1: OK, Bugs Bunny.
Me: 3 on 3...nice. Alright, I have to go back in our booth,
but before I leave, let me see your hands...
All three showed me their hands and I saw that all of them
wore rings.
Me: Interesting. (I said the intro for the ring finger routine...
the gods...etc. but never revealed to them what it meant).
Girls: Stay for a while, tell us what it means please?!
Me: I have to do it one at a time. Alright, you first then you
two wait until I can get back to you...
I did the routine, negs, palm reading and all the stuff to each
of them individually, and talked as a group again afterward.
We were all having fun, kino and stuff, then before the day was
over I knew I'd have to get their numbers, I remembered the
number routine.
Me: This event would be over soon, and it's nice to have known
you guys. I could have shown you the cube, but we don't have
enough time.
Girls: What's the cube?
Me: (explained a bit) OK, if we ever meet some other time I'll
show you.
I pulled out a piece of paper, tore it in half and wrote my number
on one. I gave Girl #1 the other piece and said...
Me: I have my number written here, lets see how creative you
are.
Girl#1: (reached for the paper and wrote her number, the other
girls saw what she did and wrote their numbers and email
addresses too. Then we all exchanged.)
Me: Nice, but I want to remember what you girls look like when
I call you or text you, I want you to draw a picture of yourselves
beside the number (I handed them their piece back).
Girl #1 drew a smiley. Girl #2 drew a stick figure. Girl #3 drew a
stick figure.
Then they handed the piece back to me...
Me: Wow... this is a real work of art (smiling a sarcastic look at
them). The girls were smiling with shy looks on their faces.
We talked more after I got the numbers, I saw some IOI's and all
went well until the event ended.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
JAW DROPPING! Now here's the breakdown.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, kudos goes out to MARCUZ because that was amazing.
Also, MARCUZ wins a Total Life Make Over DVD Set!
There isn't much that I see wrong here because MARCUZ did
an amazing job using PUA tactics. Really well done.
It was brilliant seeding The Cube for later. I would've maybe
built it up a bit more or even performed it and then not told
one or all of them the breakdown so that they would've had to
wait until I called them to hear it. This way the girls would be
dying to get a phone call from me. But the way MARCUZ played
it was good too!
Alright, as you see from MARCUZ here these tips and tactics
we've been discussing yield results when you get out there and
use them. Style's number close is a classic and one of my faves
that I still use.
Stay tuned for my email tomorrow because it's time to work on...
KISS CLOSING!!! :)
I wanna go to London sooooo bad,
-The Sneak
P.S. Don't forget to reserve your spot for the London Conference
now. The hotel is out of conference space and we cannot expand
so once all the seats are sold out that's it. We can't accept any late
comers:
http://www.stylelife.com/world-conference/london/
P.P.S. If you're in the New York City area, Neil Strauss will be appearing
at the Powerhouse Arena in Brooklyn, Tonight, November 4, 2010 at
6:30pm for a comedic event that focuses on the "dark side of celebrity."
Go check it out :)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
--
Stylelife Academy
8491 Sunset Blvd. #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069, USA
--
2012年9月10日
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective PUAs
Hey,
I just got off the phone on a BIG conference call with some of the world's other top pick up artists and dating coaches.
Something came out of that call that I wanted to share with you right away. Toward the end of the call, we got to talking about "the old days," when we ourselves were first learning how to date and attract beautiful women.
It's funny because most of us agreed that we did it the wrong way. We made the process way longer and harder than it needed to be.
Part of this wasn't our fault. Resources that men take for granted today simply didn't exist five years ago. E.g.:
But those are just excuses.
The fact is, as much as we've learned about attracting and dating beautiful women (to the point where we can call it "dating science"), we've learned even more about how to TEACH and LEARN the skills.
And when we get guys who don't agree on anything else to agree on the right way to learn dating science... that's worth listening to. I was originally just going to post this on my blog, but this is important enough to share with everyone.
You can't do this with women and dating.
Being results-focused will actually hurt your game.
If your goals are phone numbers, dates, same night lays, or whatever, you risk coming across as needy. You will be approaching women obviously wanting something. Women can "smell" an agenda.
Your inner game (internal outlook on yourself and your abilities) and confidence will also suffer. If your goal is to take a hot girl home tonight but the hottest girl at the party has a photo shoot at dawn the next morning, what are you going to do?
Sure, you can make excuses and exceptions, but that's a slippery slope and will eventually make all of your goals meaningless.
Focus on what YOU can control and what YOU need to be working on. For example:
Unfortunately, there are way too many people out there pretending that "looks don't matter."
Of course they do.
But, they matter in a different sort of way to most women than to men, and not just because they're not quite as important. It's also because women judge looks not only on a visual level, but also for what your looks say about your personality.
And that's mostly about fashion and grooming (mostly hair).
This is a GREAT thing about being a guy - you can go from ugly to attractive with the right changes to clothes and hair.
By "attractive" I don't mean you can get into fashion magazines. I mean "your appearance is enough to interest beautiful women."
(Check out the before and after photos in Magic Bullets for live examples.)
Those are very different things. That's why I don't recommend you go shopping with women. Yes, they can make you look fashionable. But, they won't dress you to cut through the clutter and announce to other women: "I am a man with something to offer."
I remember the first time I heard a girl call Love Systems Instructor Cajun "hot." I nearly spat out my drink. He's a weedy little guy. But, he was dressed in a way that conveyed a powerful identity that he was congruent with. And having sick game doesn't hurt either.
I'm no great shakes either. No woman (except my mom, God bless her) ever said I was handsome until I changed my style.
Use your clothes and grooming to tell women what kind of person you are - relate fashion choices to your identity. Take care of your appearance (especially the details, like shoes), be in touch with yourself, dress appropriately but with a sense of purpose, or fun, etc. All of that is much more important to her (and to your "looks") than what you look like with your shirt off.
I've personally trained a couple thousand men over the past 5 years (including at the annual Super-Conference). I can only remember two men who had something physical about them that would seriously get in the way of attracting beautiful women.
The odds are that, whatever your physical imperfections, there are tons of guys with less going for them than you have who are doing just fine.
This can be fixed in a day. So do it.
To be a positive, outgoing, confident, relaxed, and interesting person when you meet women, your best bet is to focus on being that person all the time.
Trying to turn it on and off risks women seeing you as "acting" or "playing a role." You won't feel comfortable or natural, and that will show.
This is why Love Systems is so careful to separate our techniques. There's the stuff that will work for everyone - that goes into Magic Bullets and our other great products. And then there's the stuff that has to be calibrated to you and your own personality and identity. That's what bootcamps and one-on-ones are for.
This is a BIG reason why the "guru" approach simply does not work and why you're part of the Love Systems Community, not Savoy's Community.
And why over 20 of the world's best dating coaches and pick up artists, most of whom could easily be the "headline star," decided to hold themselves to a higher standard and make something special.
So, if what you think you need to do to attract and date women is SO different from your "natural" personality that you have to turn it "on" and "off" THEN YOU ARE DOING THE WRONG THING.
In other words, make dating and seduction techniques work for you. Don't try to become a different person to fit the techniques.
To talk about this some more, drop us a line.
If you expect her to think and act like you, you're just going to be frustrated and disappointed (and miss out on the unique feminine aspects of her personality).
I can't think of how many nights I went home alone in the early days, having failed to convince a woman who was attracted to me that her friends would get home fine / she'd be just fine the next day / a 45 minute drive home isn't that bad, really / and so on.
It never worked. What does work is amping her sense of fun, adventure, attraction, etc. - making her emotionally want to come (ahem) instead of logically.
It's the same principle as when guys ask "I love this routine and that routine, but how do I get from one to the other?"
It's a logical question - and therefore doesn't matter.
If the emotions are good, the logical side either doesn't hit her radar screen or is rationalized away. If she's enjoying the conversation, she doesn't care why you switched topics.
This also explains how a woman can spend hours over dinner explaining to some guy that she really likes men who are nice, who take things slow, who bring her flowers, etc... and then slip her phone number to a man who makes her feel (not think) attraction.
Sure, you can blow yourself out by approaching a girl and saying the wrong thing. "Can I buy you a drink?" and "It's sure loud in here" count as "wrong things."
But, regardless of how clever, direct, spontaneous, etc., the first thing you say is, after her response she'll be looking at you expectantly wondering what you're going to say next.
If you've been around for a while, you'll recognize this issue - early on we had great openers and great attraction material, but no great way to transition between the two.
That's why we created the Transitioning phase, first revealed in Magic Bullets (you can read about it in the free chapters).
This applies equally whether you "go direct" or "go indirect," or even waltz up to a woman and say something nonsensical (or even borderline offensive).
Of course, the first thing you say can blow you out. That's why I recommend at least looking at the proven openers from the first volume of the Routines Manual (they're in the free chapters).
But more likely, if you're getting blown out on the opener, it's a problem with body language and/or tonality. This is really hard to fix by yourself; get someone who knows what he's doing to watch your game and give you honest feedback.
Well - no one ever wishes he'd waited longer before getting good at Love Systems.
No one ever wishes he could have had just another few months, or years, of not being able to get the girls he wanted.
Yes, it can seem overwhelming. And while it's easy to find excuses, you CAN make a priority for what's important to you. No matter how long, every successful journey always begins the same way - with a single step.
You have the power to take that step TODAY.
If you need help getting started, re-use the Official Love Systems 2009 New Year's Resolutions. Just call them "anytime resolutions" and off you go.
As a technical question, I sometimes get asked whether you should take your bootcamp as soon as possible or whether you'll get more out of it if you learn on your own first.
It is true that the more advanced you are going into a bootcamp, the more advanced you'll be coming out. There are more nuances and subtleties to pick up on and you'll be able to make better use of the more advanced material.
But, it's almost always a better idea to do it earlier. Part of the value of a bootcamp is that we can tell you exactly what you need to work on and in what order. This is often very different from what most guys THINK their sticking points are.
Also, the longer you go without getting a very successful man to critique your game, the more you will internalize your bad habits. It's actually easier to train someone who has never approached a woman in his life than someone who has 1,000 approaches under his belt.
And then there's math. If you wait 6 months and take a bootcamp, you'll probably be at or slightly better than the level you'd be at if you took a bootcamp now. But, if you take a bootcamp now and then keep practicing for 6 months, you'll be MUCH further ahead than if you had waited.
As an example, Braddock was already being considered as a junior instructor just six months after his bootcamp (he's now a senior instructor). No one is ever at instructor level right after completing a bootcamp.
For a full schedule of bootcamps and live training programs, click here:
>> http://www.lovesystems.com/training-schedule
If we're not coming to your city at the right time, contact us about individualized training or to make a request.
It can't be, if you want to be successful. Borrowing from some of Love Systems Instructor Mr. M's breakthroughs, if you're not having fun, she's unlikely to be having fun either. This happens through something called mirror neurons and it's worth checking out the article in full:
>> http://www.theattractionforums.com/discussion/85461-basis-natural-game-inverted-seduction-principle.html
Some people complain that they don't like bars and clubs (or a particular bar or club). This one's pretty easy. Go places you like, where you like the music and the atmosphere. This will also make you want to come back, and as you get to know people at a specific place, you have more opportunities to be "known" and have "social proof" there.
If you don't like bars and clubs, do day game. The same beautiful women that go out to clubs also go to malls, coffee shops, theatres, galleries, sporting events, and so on. Meet them there.
One of the reasons Love Systems Instructor Soul enjoys Day Game more than Night Game (though he's an expert at both) is because he finds a wider variety of women in normal daytime situations - including lots of women who themselves don't like clubs!
Or, you might be putting too much pressure on yourself, jumping suddenly between un-social and social activities, or one of a million other "state" killers.
But in general - if there's one thought I can leave you with:
If it's not fun, you're doing something wrong.
Take care,
Savoy
You can also install the Love Systems Toolbar to have all of our amazing resources at your fingertips!
I just got off the phone on a BIG conference call with some of the world's other top pick up artists and dating coaches.
Something came out of that call that I wanted to share with you right away. Toward the end of the call, we got to talking about "the old days," when we ourselves were first learning how to date and attract beautiful women.
It's funny because most of us agreed that we did it the wrong way. We made the process way longer and harder than it needed to be.
Part of this wasn't our fault. Resources that men take for granted today simply didn't exist five years ago. E.g.:
- No Magic Bullets offering a complete system to follow step-by-step.
- No Routines Manual (let alone an advanced Volume 2) with collections of the proven things to say to start conversations, create attraction, get rid of other guys, etc.
- No video channel so you could see this stuff in action.
- Etc.
But those are just excuses.
The fact is, as much as we've learned about attracting and dating beautiful women (to the point where we can call it "dating science"), we've learned even more about how to TEACH and LEARN the skills.
And when we get guys who don't agree on anything else to agree on the right way to learn dating science... that's worth listening to. I was originally just going to post this on my blog, but this is important enough to share with everyone.
Seven things top gurus know now that we wish we'd known then:
- 1) Measure skills, not results.
You can't do this with women and dating.
Being results-focused will actually hurt your game.
If your goals are phone numbers, dates, same night lays, or whatever, you risk coming across as needy. You will be approaching women obviously wanting something. Women can "smell" an agenda.
Your inner game (internal outlook on yourself and your abilities) and confidence will also suffer. If your goal is to take a hot girl home tonight but the hottest girl at the party has a photo shoot at dawn the next morning, what are you going to do?
Sure, you can make excuses and exceptions, but that's a slippery slope and will eventually make all of your goals meaningless.
Focus on what YOU can control and what YOU need to be working on. For example:
- Suffering from approach anxiety (When you are too nervous to walk up to a woman you don't know and start talking to her.)? - approach 10 women today.
- Avoiding mixed groups (men & women)? - approach 3 mixed groups today.
- Not naturally physically demonstrative or "touchy?" - touch (appropriately) every person you meet today within 30 seconds.
- Want to learn to do "cold reads (Observations you can make about a woman that doesn't necessarily require that you know anything about her - these can be incredibly useful and fun, both allowing you to learn about a woman and giving her information about you.)?" - do a cold read in at least 5 approaches.
- Trouble taking things sexual? - use at least 4 different sexualization routines tonight.
- And so on...
- 2) Fashion and grooming matter - a lot.
Unfortunately, there are way too many people out there pretending that "looks don't matter."
Of course they do.
But, they matter in a different sort of way to most women than to men, and not just because they're not quite as important. It's also because women judge looks not only on a visual level, but also for what your looks say about your personality.
And that's mostly about fashion and grooming (mostly hair).
This is a GREAT thing about being a guy - you can go from ugly to attractive with the right changes to clothes and hair.
By "attractive" I don't mean you can get into fashion magazines. I mean "your appearance is enough to interest beautiful women."
(Check out the before and after photos in Magic Bullets for live examples.)
Those are very different things. That's why I don't recommend you go shopping with women. Yes, they can make you look fashionable. But, they won't dress you to cut through the clutter and announce to other women: "I am a man with something to offer."
I remember the first time I heard a girl call Love Systems Instructor Cajun "hot." I nearly spat out my drink. He's a weedy little guy. But, he was dressed in a way that conveyed a powerful identity that he was congruent with. And having sick game doesn't hurt either.
I'm no great shakes either. No woman (except my mom, God bless her) ever said I was handsome until I changed my style.
Use your clothes and grooming to tell women what kind of person you are - relate fashion choices to your identity. Take care of your appearance (especially the details, like shoes), be in touch with yourself, dress appropriately but with a sense of purpose, or fun, etc. All of that is much more important to her (and to your "looks") than what you look like with your shirt off.
I've personally trained a couple thousand men over the past 5 years (including at the annual Super-Conference). I can only remember two men who had something physical about them that would seriously get in the way of attracting beautiful women.
The odds are that, whatever your physical imperfections, there are tons of guys with less going for them than you have who are doing just fine.
This can be fixed in a day. So do it.
- 3) Being attractive to women isn't something you switch on and off.
To be a positive, outgoing, confident, relaxed, and interesting person when you meet women, your best bet is to focus on being that person all the time.
Trying to turn it on and off risks women seeing you as "acting" or "playing a role." You won't feel comfortable or natural, and that will show.
This is why Love Systems is so careful to separate our techniques. There's the stuff that will work for everyone - that goes into Magic Bullets and our other great products. And then there's the stuff that has to be calibrated to you and your own personality and identity. That's what bootcamps and one-on-ones are for.
This is a BIG reason why the "guru" approach simply does not work and why you're part of the Love Systems Community, not Savoy's Community.
And why over 20 of the world's best dating coaches and pick up artists, most of whom could easily be the "headline star," decided to hold themselves to a higher standard and make something special.
So, if what you think you need to do to attract and date women is SO different from your "natural" personality that you have to turn it "on" and "off" THEN YOU ARE DOING THE WRONG THING.
In other words, make dating and seduction techniques work for you. Don't try to become a different person to fit the techniques.
To talk about this some more, drop us a line.
- 4) Change her mood, not her mind.
If you expect her to think and act like you, you're just going to be frustrated and disappointed (and miss out on the unique feminine aspects of her personality).
I can't think of how many nights I went home alone in the early days, having failed to convince a woman who was attracted to me that her friends would get home fine / she'd be just fine the next day / a 45 minute drive home isn't that bad, really / and so on.
It never worked. What does work is amping her sense of fun, adventure, attraction, etc. - making her emotionally want to come (ahem) instead of logically.
It's the same principle as when guys ask "I love this routine and that routine, but how do I get from one to the other?"
It's a logical question - and therefore doesn't matter.
If the emotions are good, the logical side either doesn't hit her radar screen or is rationalized away. If she's enjoying the conversation, she doesn't care why you switched topics.
This also explains how a woman can spend hours over dinner explaining to some guy that she really likes men who are nice, who take things slow, who bring her flowers, etc... and then slip her phone number to a man who makes her feel (not think) attraction.
- 5) It's not the first thing you say - it's the second.
Sure, you can blow yourself out by approaching a girl and saying the wrong thing. "Can I buy you a drink?" and "It's sure loud in here" count as "wrong things."
But, regardless of how clever, direct, spontaneous, etc., the first thing you say is, after her response she'll be looking at you expectantly wondering what you're going to say next.
If you've been around for a while, you'll recognize this issue - early on we had great openers and great attraction material, but no great way to transition between the two.
That's why we created the Transitioning phase, first revealed in Magic Bullets (you can read about it in the free chapters).
This applies equally whether you "go direct" or "go indirect," or even waltz up to a woman and say something nonsensical (or even borderline offensive).
Of course, the first thing you say can blow you out. That's why I recommend at least looking at the proven openers from the first volume of the Routines Manual (they're in the free chapters).
But more likely, if you're getting blown out on the opener, it's a problem with body language and/or tonality. This is really hard to fix by yourself; get someone who knows what he's doing to watch your game and give you honest feedback.
- 6) Don't wait.
Well - no one ever wishes he'd waited longer before getting good at Love Systems.
No one ever wishes he could have had just another few months, or years, of not being able to get the girls he wanted.
Yes, it can seem overwhelming. And while it's easy to find excuses, you CAN make a priority for what's important to you. No matter how long, every successful journey always begins the same way - with a single step.
You have the power to take that step TODAY.
If you need help getting started, re-use the Official Love Systems 2009 New Year's Resolutions. Just call them "anytime resolutions" and off you go.
As a technical question, I sometimes get asked whether you should take your bootcamp as soon as possible or whether you'll get more out of it if you learn on your own first.
It is true that the more advanced you are going into a bootcamp, the more advanced you'll be coming out. There are more nuances and subtleties to pick up on and you'll be able to make better use of the more advanced material.
But, it's almost always a better idea to do it earlier. Part of the value of a bootcamp is that we can tell you exactly what you need to work on and in what order. This is often very different from what most guys THINK their sticking points are.
Also, the longer you go without getting a very successful man to critique your game, the more you will internalize your bad habits. It's actually easier to train someone who has never approached a woman in his life than someone who has 1,000 approaches under his belt.
And then there's math. If you wait 6 months and take a bootcamp, you'll probably be at or slightly better than the level you'd be at if you took a bootcamp now. But, if you take a bootcamp now and then keep practicing for 6 months, you'll be MUCH further ahead than if you had waited.
As an example, Braddock was already being considered as a junior instructor just six months after his bootcamp (he's now a senior instructor). No one is ever at instructor level right after completing a bootcamp.
For a full schedule of bootcamps and live training programs, click here:
>> http://www.lovesystems.com/training-schedule
If we're not coming to your city at the right time, contact us about individualized training or to make a request.
- 7) Make it fun!
It can't be, if you want to be successful. Borrowing from some of Love Systems Instructor Mr. M's breakthroughs, if you're not having fun, she's unlikely to be having fun either. This happens through something called mirror neurons and it's worth checking out the article in full:
>> http://www.theattractionforums.com/discussion/85461-basis-natural-game-inverted-seduction-principle.html
Some people complain that they don't like bars and clubs (or a particular bar or club). This one's pretty easy. Go places you like, where you like the music and the atmosphere. This will also make you want to come back, and as you get to know people at a specific place, you have more opportunities to be "known" and have "social proof" there.
If you don't like bars and clubs, do day game. The same beautiful women that go out to clubs also go to malls, coffee shops, theatres, galleries, sporting events, and so on. Meet them there.
One of the reasons Love Systems Instructor Soul enjoys Day Game more than Night Game (though he's an expert at both) is because he finds a wider variety of women in normal daytime situations - including lots of women who themselves don't like clubs!
Or, you might be putting too much pressure on yourself, jumping suddenly between un-social and social activities, or one of a million other "state" killers.
But in general - if there's one thought I can leave you with:
If it's not fun, you're doing something wrong.
Take care,
Savoy
Stay tuned - tomorrow you'll read first-hand how an introverted
virgin became one of Love Systems' most popular instructors!
P.S. Make sure you don't miss out on any LSis, preventing you from getting these advanced dating tips with news you can use every week. Read our whitelist instructions to make sure your spam filters aren't blocking us.virgin became one of Love Systems' most popular instructors!
You can also install the Love Systems Toolbar to have all of our amazing resources at your fingertips!
2012年9月6日
What Separates A Winner From A Loser Is...
Hey,
I want to share with you one of the biggest lessons I
learned in the last month.
It's something I've been trying to figure out since
I first started teaching workshops, and noticing
that some people excelled while others got nowhere
-- even though they were both putting in the same
amount of work.
There was a piece missing that no one was teaching.
Here's how I found it:
A PUA I'd met on my last book tour did a massive
favor for me. He's a sweet, good-hearted guy who
has been in the community for years, knows every
routine (even listens to them over and over on his
iPod), goes out sarging nearly every night, and yet
is still a virgin.
So in exchange for all the heroic work he'd done, I
flew him to Los Angeles for a weekend to examine
his game and find his Achille's Heel.
I eventually found it, and it turned out to be such
an epiphany that I made it one of the assignments
in the Stylelife Challenge in Rules of the Game (see
Day 16).
************
Here is the key distinction:
The guy who fails at the game is the one who
goes out looking for women to make him
feel good about himself.
The guy who succeeds at the game is the one
who goes out and makes other people feel good
about themselves.
************
This first type of guy, no one wants to be around.
He is needy. He is insecure. He is reaction-seeking.
He will suck your energy dry in his selfish quest for
your validation and approval.
This second type of guy is easy to be with. He radiates
charisma and positive energy. You enjoy his company,
as do your friends, and you want him around all the
time. You trust him, feel comfortable with him, end
up at his house at 5 a.m. wondering where all that
time went.
Both guys do and say the exact same things but get
a very different reaction from women because of the
intent they are communicating.
WAIT a minute, you may say: What about negs? Their
use seems to contradict this idea of making people feel
good about themselves.
Think again.
When you give a woman who's often hit on a generic
compliment, she will usually either ignore the remark
or assume you're saying it because you want to sleep
with her.
When you tease her and show her that you're
unaffected by her beauty and demonstrate that you're
out of her league - and THEN let her work to win
you over and ultimately REWARD her with your
approval, she will leave that night feeling good about
herself. Like something special happened and she
connected with somebody who appreciates her for
who she REALLY is.
In short, a neg will buy you the credibility you need
to sincerely compliment her later.
That said, I don't necessarily advocate negs; they
are in many ways a temporary patch to stick onto
your personality while you learn to possess real
confidence and strength of character.
So, to drive this all home, here's an assignment
I gave the guys in the Stylelife Challenge: Your
mission this week is to make five people feel better
about themselves - with no thought as to how you
come across in the process.
This can include anything from telling a parent
how much you appreciate them; to making an awkward
guest at a party feel wanted and included; to telling
a person who just blew a lot of money on a car/outfit/
haircut how cool it looks; to giving a homeless person
eye contact, smiling, and handing them five dollars.
Start developing an instinct for what someone needs
to feel good about themselves and their choices, and
stop worrying about what they think of you.
Pretty soon, it'll become a habit, and you'll be a social
magnet forced to sign up for Half Your Dating seminars
to stop your cell phone from ringing all the time.
In Your Corner,
Style
P.S. Did I mention how charismatic you look today? And I love
that thing you did just now. Keep it up!
P.P.S. After spending the weekend in L.A. and discussing
the ideas above, the PUA with the former Achille's Heel sent
me the following email: "The other night, it was my 26th
birthday. I was chatting up a four-set using the positive
ideas we'd discussed, and one of them started groping me.
Next thing you know, hardcore tonguedown makeout.
First time ever - yay!"
The Neil Strauss VIP List
8491 Sunset Blvd #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069
I want to share with you one of the biggest lessons I
learned in the last month.
It's something I've been trying to figure out since
I first started teaching workshops, and noticing
that some people excelled while others got nowhere
-- even though they were both putting in the same
amount of work.
There was a piece missing that no one was teaching.
Here's how I found it:
A PUA I'd met on my last book tour did a massive
favor for me. He's a sweet, good-hearted guy who
has been in the community for years, knows every
routine (even listens to them over and over on his
iPod), goes out sarging nearly every night, and yet
is still a virgin.
So in exchange for all the heroic work he'd done, I
flew him to Los Angeles for a weekend to examine
his game and find his Achille's Heel.
I eventually found it, and it turned out to be such
an epiphany that I made it one of the assignments
in the Stylelife Challenge in Rules of the Game (see
Day 16).
************
Here is the key distinction:
The guy who fails at the game is the one who
goes out looking for women to make him
feel good about himself.
The guy who succeeds at the game is the one
who goes out and makes other people feel good
about themselves.
************
This first type of guy, no one wants to be around.
He is needy. He is insecure. He is reaction-seeking.
He will suck your energy dry in his selfish quest for
your validation and approval.
This second type of guy is easy to be with. He radiates
charisma and positive energy. You enjoy his company,
as do your friends, and you want him around all the
time. You trust him, feel comfortable with him, end
up at his house at 5 a.m. wondering where all that
time went.
Both guys do and say the exact same things but get
a very different reaction from women because of the
intent they are communicating.
WAIT a minute, you may say: What about negs? Their
use seems to contradict this idea of making people feel
good about themselves.
Think again.
When you give a woman who's often hit on a generic
compliment, she will usually either ignore the remark
or assume you're saying it because you want to sleep
with her.
When you tease her and show her that you're
unaffected by her beauty and demonstrate that you're
out of her league - and THEN let her work to win
you over and ultimately REWARD her with your
approval, she will leave that night feeling good about
herself. Like something special happened and she
connected with somebody who appreciates her for
who she REALLY is.
In short, a neg will buy you the credibility you need
to sincerely compliment her later.
That said, I don't necessarily advocate negs; they
are in many ways a temporary patch to stick onto
your personality while you learn to possess real
confidence and strength of character.
So, to drive this all home, here's an assignment
I gave the guys in the Stylelife Challenge: Your
mission this week is to make five people feel better
about themselves - with no thought as to how you
come across in the process.
This can include anything from telling a parent
how much you appreciate them; to making an awkward
guest at a party feel wanted and included; to telling
a person who just blew a lot of money on a car/outfit/
haircut how cool it looks; to giving a homeless person
eye contact, smiling, and handing them five dollars.
Start developing an instinct for what someone needs
to feel good about themselves and their choices, and
stop worrying about what they think of you.
Pretty soon, it'll become a habit, and you'll be a social
magnet forced to sign up for Half Your Dating seminars
to stop your cell phone from ringing all the time.
In Your Corner,
Style
P.S. Did I mention how charismatic you look today? And I love
that thing you did just now. Keep it up!
P.P.S. After spending the weekend in L.A. and discussing
the ideas above, the PUA with the former Achille's Heel sent
me the following email: "The other night, it was my 26th
birthday. I was chatting up a four-set using the positive
ideas we'd discussed, and one of them started groping me.
Next thing you know, hardcore tonguedown makeout.
First time ever - yay!"
The Neil Strauss VIP List
8491 Sunset Blvd #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069
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