| The Mystery Method Get Attraction Members Bonus Material 2 of 8 |
By now you have already received the first bonus material email from when you signed up here. That email included an extra chapter for The Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed. If you haven’t received it, please let us know at customerservice@themysterymethod.com.
It’s really important that you don’t just let the book – or these emails - gather dust on your shelf. Our material won’t get you anywhere by itself. You have to use it.
As I mentioned in the bonus chapter, each of the next few emails is going to focus on a specific area of your game, bring your knowledge up to date, and show you where some further resources are. Sometimes we will revisit some of the material in The Mystery Method book in a different way. Sometimes we will show you some more advanced strategies.
We’ve developed a lot of expertise in training men to be as successful with women as we are (and most of us are former students and started in the same place you did), and we’ve learned that information timing is crucial. It’s very important that you study and use these materials in order. Anyway, as long as you are keeping up, you’ll be fine. Each email will be in this format:
- Review
- Discussion
- Q&A
- What you need to do
- Resources
Review
The bonus chapter provided a couple of new openers as well as an exhortation to go out and practice them. Hopefully, you’ve been able to spend the past few days approaching attractive women when you see them and learning how the openers work. One place though where a lot of people fall down is in not paying attention to their non-verbal communication. The book does a great job in Chapter 5 of covering this; make sure you don’t gloss over the importance of tonality, posture, and so on.
Discussion
Learn to be louder
Everyone in the group should hear your opener. You should be loud enough to cut across whatever conversations people are already having and make it socially awkward for others not to be paying attention to you. Practice opening -- loudly -- from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, just under your pectoral muscles, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can't. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations. This is a much more useful, powerful, and “sexy” voice.
Virtually all men are too quiet rather than too loud. The odds are that you are too. Especially at bars and nightclubs, experiment until you know you are being too loud, then pull back a couple notches.
This is one of the first things we fix with our students at our live workshops. If you’ve already got this down, you’ll already be a few minutes ahead of the game when you take your workshop!
Mixed Groups
A mixed group is one that has both men and women in it. Don’t be afraid of these. They’re actually easier once you get the hang of them, since you can direct your opening conversation at a guy or at the men in a group. If you are sufficiently interesting, the women will want to also get your attention. By playfully ignoring and teasing your target, you drive her crazy and develop attraction for you (we will cover the Attraction phase in the next email).
A couple of our Master Instructors – Sinn and Captain Jack – have become well-known for their skill in attracting beautiful women for “one night stands”. They are better at this than anyone I’ve ever seen and a couple of times a year offer a one-day specialty seminar on how they do it. One of the first things they go over is why a mixed group is better for one night stands, too.
Furthermore, don't restrict yourself to mixed groups where the ratio is in your favor. You can and should approach mixed groups even when there are more men than women. Casually ask how everyone knows each other pretty early on so you don’t step on any minefields. Overall, you will earn credit with any single women in the group for having the guts to approach when most other men would be too timid.
Do not initiate conflict with the other men in the group. A woman will be less interested in you if she senses that you cannot get along with the men in her life. If you appear to disrespect a woman’s brother, sister’s boyfriend, coworker, platonic male friend, or any other male in her social circle, you will imply that you have a low Social Intuition, which is deeply unattractive to women. You will also make enemies within her social circle, who will try to convince her not to date you.
"Social Intuition" is capitalized there since it’s one of the eight "attraction switches" we’ve discovered since the publication of the book. We’ll get into these in the Attraction Phase email, next.
Befriending other men does not mean kissing up to them (neither they nor the women in the group will respect you if you do), but it does mean treating them with respect. Imagine that you are at the park with your younger sister. What would a man have to do for you to want her to date him, or at least for you to be neutral about it? One technique for bonding with someone is to act as if he is already your friend. Act toward other men in her group as you would act around your own friends. Sports, gadgets, cars, alcohol, and movies are often good sources of conversation with other men.
A couple of parting thoughts:
- Address the men in the group primarily, at least at first
- Quickly find out how they all know each other (so you know which women in the group are single and which have their boyfriends or husbands in the group)
- Use an opener that is more about events and actions and less about emotions and “getting a woman’s opinion”
Dear Mystery Method:
So far all I can say is…wow. I can feel that this book is going to change my life. One question I have – I realize that I should practice until I get good, but I don’t like clubs and don’t really have the time. Are there other ways to get this kind of experience?
- J.F., Lewiston, ME
Dear J.F.,
Yes, absolutely. There’s absolutely nothing in The Mystery Method that is specific to bars and clubs. We only tend to refer to them because they frequently have large numbers of attractive women with whom you can interact and practice on. However, if you can find enough women to approach elsewhere, you absolutely should. Some of our instructors tend to focus specifically on non-bar and non-club situations, which we call “Day Game”.
Day Game does have some tactical elements and shortcuts which are significantly different from bars and clubs. This isn’t the place to go over all of these now. In terms of opening, specifically, keep these few tips in mind:
- Stand further apart.
- Don’t touch her (no kino).
- Look for opportunities to prepare the ground for your opener. People are often not in “social mode” when they are by themselves during the day. So if you’ve got a bag or briefcase with you at a coffee shop, ask a woman at a nearby table to watch it when you go to the bathroom. This puts you in her conscious mind, and when you get back, you can start a conversation. You still start with Opening (i.e., A1) but your approach won’t come “out of the blue”.
- More women are by themselves. So group theory doesn’t apply.
We do occasionally run specific “Day Game” seminars targeted to this aspect of dating science. Check our schedule or contact us to find out what qualified day game instructors are in your area.
Cheers,
Savoy
Dear Mystery Method:
I own both the book The Mystery Method and the DVD set. The DVD set is great for going into more depth and explaining HOW to do some of the things mentioned in the book. One thing I really liked was some of Mystery’s canned material. Like the “you are a song” piece on DVD#3 works so well. This makes me want MORE! Where would I look for more canned material?
- W.O., Prescott, AZ
Dear W.O.,
First things first. Using other people’s canned material is fine if you’re just trying to figure out how it works and practice your tonality and body language. Because you know that the canned material works, you can focus on the other things, and then when your non-verbal communication is working well for you, you can experiment with your own material. But don’t get into the trap of sticking with other peoples’ stuff forever. It’s not you and you’ll eventually come across as fake.
As for your question specifically, there is a truly excellent book called the Love Systems’ Routines Manual - which includes about 200 pages of the best routines, including many by instructors who have worked with The Mystery Method. It includes a couple dozen openers, attraction routines, comfort routines, and so on. What I like most about it (I collaborated in writing it) is how each routine has specific advice on when to use it, what you’d say immediately after, how to respond to various things a woman might say in response. It also includes bonus chapters on how to build and deliver your own routines.
What you need to do
- Get out there. Master opening. Be able to open 5, 10, 20 sets in a row without failing.
- What this means is, every time you see an attractive stranger, approach her (and her group if she is with one). Start a conversation. Don’t stress if you’re not able to take the conversation to the next level yet; we’ll cover that in future emails.
- Failures include failing to approach because of approach anxiety, and failure to start a conversation.
- You absolutely need to have this mastered. The best attraction or comfort material in the world won’t get you anywhere unless you can open consistently.
If by now you are not opening consistently, you may need to look into some further resources that can help. There are a few I can suggest; some are The Mystery Method products and some aren’t.
1. Interview Series CD #1 on OpeningIn this CD, fellow Master Instructor Sinn and myself cover Opening from a variety of different angles, addressing different situations (e.g., if men are part of the group) and delivering openers in the proper tonality.
2. DVD Video Archive, especially Volume #1
This 5-DVD set represents “best of” clips from the Mystery Method’s 2005 tour. Mystery delivers routines and fleshes out many concepts from the book as well as introducing new ones. It’s not an “Opening” product specifically because it tries to cover the complete system, but much of DVD #1 is related to Opening. Reviews are here.
3. The Love Systems' Routines ManualAs described above, this is THE guide to the best routines for every phase of the game. This is the only place, other than our live workshops, where our Master Instructors reveal their secret routines and tactics. It’s also a good introduction to other schools of dating science beyond The Mystery Method.
4. Brad P’s Instant AttractionThis is not a The Mystery Method book, but it is primarily focused on opening and is quite innovative. We occasionally use some of his techniques, especially “The Shocker” to build attraction off of the opener.
Take care,
Savoy
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